Here He Is, Mr. Star Wars Universe

by Lucien Lockhart

They don't want no bulky Lou Ferrigno. They don't want no sex god like Pierce Brosnan. They ain't looking for no scoundrel like Han Solo. What girls really want is a man that can rattle off every unnecessary fact concerning Star Wars while espousing his theories on why the Empire lost. Well, look no further ladies because the second annual "Mr. Star Wars Universe" contest was held this Saturday.

Many entered but there could be only one Mr. Star Wars, so how to decide? The Star Wars Strut of course! Jango Fett attempted to deep throat our poor, hapless host. One contestant launched himself across the floor and struck a pose.

And then there were five. So next: "Whose Star Wars Line Is It, Anyway?" How to attract the opposite sex tips were given by Lando Calrissian to Jar Jar. And finally: Q&A. One contestant nearly disqualified himself by having a girlfriend, but the audience relented once they found out he met her at a Star Wars event.

As the judges gathered to decide the final winner, the crowd was regaled with filks. And as the crowd cheered, the old Mr. Star Wars Universe 2002, Joey, crowned the new Mr. Star Wars Universe 2003, Dylan.

All thanks goes to Hothlanta Rebels and the organizers of the Mr. Star Wars Universe 2003, led by Paula Rosenberg. A special thanks to Cathy Bowden for allowing the Rebels to host this event in her room. The panel was truly a delight.



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