Miss Klingon Empire 2006
by Claire Greiner

The Regency ballroom was filled to capacity with spectators as six women vied for the Miss Klingon Empire title: Cmdr Keela sutai-Septaric (Leila McMichael), Rok'ela DevnoH (Sharon Carter), VarkNa B'traughh (Valerie Rice), Kandak sutai-B'traughh (Aiven O'Leary), Lt. Cmdr. K'vara (Joanna Jo Lombardi), and SajQa' sutai-Fenix (Andrea Benton).

The competition was fierce (no surprise there). This year’s celebrity judges included Denise Crosby, George Takei, Autumn-Skye Boothe, and Tony Todd. The spectacle was presided over by the splendid Eric L. Watts.

The talent portions included a sing-along for one contestant, complete with a Hu-Man Sobriety Checkpoint: A page of Klingon script was revealed. If you could read what it said, you'd had too much blood wine. The contestants were not above bribing…err, I mean, offering the judges a token of their appreciation.

Emcee: "Did you just bribe the judges with blood wine?"
Contestant 6: "Absolutely."

The personality segment elicited gales of laughter from the audience. Prospective Miss Klingons were asked a question in order to gauge the extent of their Klingon spirit. Banter flowed. After a particularly well-endowed contestant finished her question, she regarded the males in the audience and reminded them: "I have a forehead too, you know…"

Questions ranged from how one should handle a romantic interest or rivals within one's crew to how one would keep the endangered targ from going extinct. Two cousins also competed in the pageant. We probably don't want to know about the machinations backstage!

When the dust settled and the blood was mopped up, Rok'ela DevnoH (Sharon Carter) was crowned Miss Klingon Empire 2006. When asked how she felt about her triumphant victory, she replied," It was rightly so; the crown was mine when I walked in the door today."

Photo by Larry Schwartz