The Courtland Grand’s Augusta room lit up Friday night at 10PM as congoers told their most impressive stories for “The Adult Boasting Contest: May the Best Storyteller Prevail.” Host Mo facilitated the rapidfire story exchange, and judges Katie Cross and Spencer Waddell distributed awards. The event was the mature-audiences-only counterpart to Thursday’s All-Ages Boasting Contest.

Dragon Con newbie Rob took the grand prize with a tale of a summer exploring the Tucson, AZ storm drains. With the help of friends, he wormed his way through the drains. Rob was intrigued by the copious street art, including graffiti tags, elaborate figures, and an expanse of red stars.

Several miles down, he encountered his most shocking find yet: a categorized wall collage of pornography paired with greyscale print-outs of Jennifer Aniston. Also on the concrete storm drain wall was a small “anti-tribute” to Aniston’s Friends costar David Schwimmer. After surfacing, Rob posted photos of his urban exploring, or urbex, finds to social media, triggering an FBI call a few weeks later. (He stresses that Aniston and Schwimmer were not harmed during the investigation.) 

Rob’s Tucson tale beat out 13 other stories about a variety of topics, including a Hall & Oates-themed Super PAC, a surreal urgent care visit, and a poorly executed glitter prank. The amateur raconteur was awarded a plastic trophy and bag of candy.