“The Donner Question” Day One: Jon Snow versus Tyrion Lannister

I spent a good portion of my day asking Dragon Con attendees and guests a question near and dear to my heart.

“Imagine you are a member of the Donner Party—the group of pioneers in the 1800s that became snowbound in the Rocky Mountains and resorted to cannibalism to survive: who would you kill and eat first, Jon Snow or Tyrion Lannister (from HBO’s megahit Game of Thrones)?”

Nine out of 10 people would eat Jon Snow. It doesn’t seem like he’s as loved as the GoT-fandom-outcry-of-despair-post-season-five-finale would have you believe.

Garrett Wang from Star Trek: Voyager chose Jon because Tyrion’s “too small. I need more meat. He’s only an appetizer. I’d go for the main course”—a sentiment echoed by numerous people.

“I love [Jon Snow], but we’re going to get more food out of [Tyrion],” said random guy at an Information Booth at the Marriott.

“Jon Snow is pretty hard to kill, but… actually, no. He’s meatier,” said Brendan from Georgia.

“Tyrion is pretty awesome, but I’m not 100% sure he’s got enough meat on him. And he’d be able to talk us out of a situation,” said some guy named Nate.

“I like Tyrion. He’s a funny guy. You gotta have a good time,” said a man dressed in some red get-up I did not recognize.

Mary from Tampa, who puzzled out the quandary more than most interviewees, chose Jon because “he’s such an idiot. He’s got the same issues with survival that his father—supposed father—had.”

You know who would eat Tyrion over Jon? One girl who “loves” Jon Snow and hopes his death is temporary and Finn Jones (aka Ser Loras Tyrell).

“Jon Snow would taste quite bland. Tough, chewy, bland. I’d go with Tyrion because he’d be a full-bodied, tasty meal,” said Jones.

By the way, British guests don’t know who the Donner Party is; you have to explain it to them first.

Author of the article

Kelly McCorkendale is a dog-lover, avid quilter, and occasional creative writer who loves the color orange and boycotts cable (except Game of Thrones because, well, what if winter is coming!?). After college, she realized poets weren’t in demand, so she shipped off to Madagascar with Peace Corps. Since then, she’s found a niche working on health systems in Africa but has a long-list of life tasks yet to be fulfilled--such as perform blackmail, learn a trade, and become a competitive eater. She has an MA in International Education, believes rice is the elixir of life, and, in high school, won the best supporting actress honor for the state of Missouri. She may also recite poetry (her first love) when imbibing in alcohol.