And the new Miss Star Trek Universe 2015 is the gorgeous, talented, horned, Klingon diva of divas, Konora, aka Hannah Hoyt. The runner up is Lwaxana, aka Leslie Chapman, a Betazoid with a penchant for mixing dark martinis. Despite stiff competition from Chapman and nine other gifted contestants, Hoyt’s rendition of an aria from The Magic Flute, in which the Queen of the Night orders her daughter to commit murder, had the spectators spellbound and trembling in their seats. Hoyt sang the aria in Klingon, of course, giving a heartfelt rendition of the dark Queen’s threats.
In the unlikely case that Hoyt had failed to persevere over her pageant foes, her vengeance would have been slow and methodical, possibly in the form of chemical or biological warfare next year, she told the Daily Dragon in a brief interview after the competition. Thankfully, she won’t have to follow through on that threat. Having failed to win the crown last year, Hoyt was familiar with her enemies’ tactics, and she spend many hours perfecting her strategy in order to honorably defeat them this year. The crowd demanded an encore of her outstanding performance.
“I knew I was not the only Klingon here,” she said, “so I could not count on my superiority as a Klingon to win.” While she regrets that there is no longer a Miss Klingon Empire pageant—she had hoped to grace her home world with that title one day—Miss Star Trek Universe will do.
Hoyt’s worthy field of opponents included Deanna Troi, aka Leah D’Andrea, who used a chainsaw to carve a block of chocolate into a model of the USS Enterprise, and the fetching Jane Kirk, aka Gann Monroe, who appeared to be the result of a confusing transporter incident. Ms. Kirk turned out to be less trouble than her tribble, however, which was tenaciously clinging to Hoyt’s dusky curls as she strode onstage to claim her crown.
Congratulations to all the contestants for a terrific pageant. Live long and prosper.
