A distinguished group of guests placed under a magic spell by the Priestess of the Oracle (author Jodie Lynn Nye), responded to audience questions—in the cryptic and obfuscated way of all oracles—at the panel “Delphic Oracle” on Saturday at 4PM in Hyatt Embassy CD. Bound by the priestess’s incantation, Michael Chatfield, Marc Alan Edelheit, G.S. Jennsen, Gini Koch, Oriana Shani Leckert, and Jon R. Osborne could only reply in one word at a time, including spoken punctuation marks. The sentence continued down the line of oracles until one of the enchanted mystics ended it with a period. The results were sometimes confusing and often the object of laughter and ridicule from the audience. But so it has always been since the days of the unfortunate Cassandra. Alas, they hear but do not listen.
Questions ranged from the complicated, like the future of self-driving cars, to a simple “Which space series is better, [the one fighting the evil empire] or [the one exploring new frontiers]?” The crowd, waiting with held breath, got this enlightening reply: “Fanboys broken and angry [Lightning Bug] will be forever debating.” That wasn’t too difficult to unravel. But when asked what the next iteration of the oracle would be, the answer was: “Pretty mystic tequila rum guzzling vodka and edible ice dragons.” What was in that spell the priestess cast, anyway?
A brave soul asked where their “left hand of darkness” was, having misplaced it. The oracle replied, “ChatGPT up under the ice and Google your own answer, please.” Hmm… What about the next Rick-roll? What will it be? “Never trust pizza that isn’t pineapple based with ham because its taste is dissonant and I’m not a sentient oracle and never trust or rely on pizza with gonna go away please.” Cryptic enough?
One audience member, laughingly referring to them as oracli, asked that if today becomes tomorrow, is today lost? Their reply: “Tomorrow is never today or going, going away.” That only make sense, it rhymes. Several other replies contained puzzling references to ice dragons, chocolate, and pizza. Answers continued to become more obscure but repeatedly involved food. Perhaps the oracli were growing hungry under the strain of answering so many questions. O wise Oracli, rest and enjoy the rest of Dragon Con.