The Dragon Wears A Square Ring

Once again the flying wonders of the squared ring returned to Dragon*Con. Fred Saberhagen hosted the mixture of rocking and socking inside the roped coliseum. Stars from the historical annals of “sports entertainment,” Abdullah the Butcher, and Glacier, plied their trade in front of a standing room audience in the Main Regency Ballroom.

Steve from 99X and “Mr. Monopoly” (John Waterhouse) entertained the audience with witticisms that were as flat as the floor of the ring. The ring action was especially heated when the heroes of outer space, GWAR, brought their particular brand of insanity to the opening match. And the night got better and better.

Not all of it was sweaty men as Jazz and RipTide showed that women can get just as brutal as the men, and still remain ladies. Even at the height of the match, RipTide found time to prevent her feminine charms from preceding an kick to her opponents midriff. Abdullah met with Iceberg and two of his cronies. As it has been for almost 30 years, Abdullah left the ring victorious and his opponents left the ring as bloodied as a John Carpenter movie, and as carved as that November birdie.

The final match of the evening was between Jerry of the Misfits, and that icon of the elbow drop, Glacier. While Glacier can take on almost any wrestler, and has on occasion taken on multiple wrestlers, tonight he was outmatched. Jerry was accompanied by four henchmen who interfered as much as they could. But this was not to be the turning of the point. The stunning songster, Slymenestra, also escorted Jerry to the ring. Her ability to distract the referee, who bore an unfortunate resemblance to Adam Sandler, was only partially hidden by her costume.

So it was, in the end the old story. It was not the story of two gladiators, but one of wrestling’s Samson who was brought down by a “cheeky” Delilah.

But if the size of the crowd was any indication, there may be justice at Dragon*Con 2001.

Author of the article

Facebook Iconfacebook like buttonYouTube IconTwitter Icontwitter follow button