Marina Sirtis takes over

Trekkies should already know this, but for those who missed the obvious, Marina Sirtis is nothing like the gentle, modest Deanna Troi she portrayed on Star Trek: The Next Generation. She’s more like Deanna’s mother, the bold and bawdy Lwaxana Troi.

Immediately after strutting onto the stage, Sirtis commanded adjustments to her microphone and had Dragon*Con volunteers rearranging the tables so she could talk and walk. Though much of the crowd remained from the subdued discussion involving children’s books, spirituality, politics, and American history with LeVar Burton (Geordi, Star Trek: The Next Generation) moments earlier, it wasn’t the same room any more.

“I hate tables, sitting down and talking to people behind tables,” Sirtis told the audience as if she had known them for a lifetime. She continued to pace and talk while volunteers moved the tables. “Did LeVar sit down and talk to you? That lazy bastard!”

Then, seconds later, in response to blinding camera flashes, she announced an impromptu photo shoot and struck poses inspired by magazine layouts and Betty Boop. Sirtis allowed the photo op to last a few moments and then ordered all cameras and other recording devices off.

“I know I’m really mean,” Sirtis replied to the groans. “Unlike the others, I say things that could get me into trouble, and I don’t want any proof I said it.”

And Sirtis was not kidding. For the rest of the hour, she entertained with candid stories about her lumpy bits, her bra that everyone wanted, IQ-dropping cleavage, her admiration of Kevin Sorbo’s body, whiny actors, rowdy sets, a director who refused to work with her cast again, and Star Trek plot holes. The audience loved her, laughing and reacting on cue to her every prompt.

When Sirtis caught a camera on, she stopped the show momentarily to chide the operator. “Oh, I just saw that,  dearie. It took me 15 minutes, but I saw it. Very cheeky!”

But she did not have to worry about her devoted fans at Dragon*Con spreading her hilarious taleseven her assurances that she did not watch any of other Star Trek series.

“I felt we’d peaked,” Sirtis told the audience who nearly gasped and then groaned in conflict (Should they agree with their empathic queen or defend their shows?). Sirtis, hand on hip, put them in their place. “You know I’m right! Y’all are just loyal to the whole franchise.”

Sirtis did not have worry because she announced near the end of her hour that she was leaving America on Sept. 11 to do theater in England.

“There is no work for middle-aged actresses here,” Sirtis explained and then continued in tears. “Thank you so much for watching us all these years. I need to thank you for everything I have. I need to thank you for my house, my car, the clothes on my back, even my husband who is American. I never will be able to thank you enough. There are just no words.”

The audience gave her a loud “Your Welcome” and “Thank you!” with a lengthy standing ovation.

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