On Sunday, Miss Klingon Empire 2007 will relinquish her crown to
the contestant with the looks and the nerve to claim it from her.
Last year, VarkNa B’traughh (Valerie Rice) defeated her rivals with a Klingon interpretive hula dance. Donning a grass skirt and coconut bustier, she balanced the grace of Polynesia with the ferocity of Qo’noS.
Since then, she has used her celebrity to further her charity, the Campaign to Conquer Earth,
with the stated mission of offering mankind some much-needed discipline. Although she cares very little for the human race, she nevertheless “wants humans to have good lives,” likening us to her cats. VarkNa has also spent some stimulating time championing her cause at Six Flags, and since accepting her crown, she reports receiving more fan underwear than she really needed. When asked for advice from her admirers, she demanded that they “keep on dreaming the dream.”
The time has come for a new contest. Female attendees of Dragon*Con are encouraged to join the struggle for domination in the realm of Klingon femininity. Contestants will compete in three categories: Beauty, Talent, and Personality. Beauty will be judged in terms of costume quality and the contestant’s poise on the catwalk. During the Talent portion, contestants will each have up to three minutes to display an original and authentic talent or skill. The Personality division will be determined by responses to a question or by performance of a simple task. For more pageant details, visit trektrak.com.
If you find these Klingon sirens intimidating, you may prefer the pageant that “celebrates the goddess in all women,” the Dawn Look-Alike Contest. Last year’s winner, Ruby Rocket, will be succeeded by another Dawn look-alike on Saturday evening. There will be cash prizes for the top three contestants, including a first place prize of $1,000. The character’s creator, Joseph Michael Linsner, and the comic’s publisher, Sirius Entertainment, will be in the audience. But of course, no pressure there, ladies. More information about this contest can be found on the main Dragon*Con website.